Well, just the other day I was slaving away at determining how practical using a Hankel singular value decomposition on an under suppressed water two-dimensional chemical shift imaging in the body at ultra high fields would be and I went, "Holy cats! Gint-A-Cuffs' deadline is practically tomorrow!" I then promptly forgot about it until my wife reminded me that it was, in fact, due tomorrow. So here I am, the night before the deadline going to take it all in one fell swoop.
To be honest, I've been more or less intentionally putting off scoring my box. I legitimately don't think I'm going to break 100 points. My box is -that- bad. Oh yeah. A real winner. Besides, when you have multiple abstract deadlines that loom followed by posters and all these other things on top of two small children (and lets not forget the dog... or my wife... HAH!) you can see how things might just have gotten away from me. But here we are.
So my box may be the worst, but can I do this in the fastest time? Lets find out. I'm starting this at 2040 local time. I bet I can do it in an hour without losing too much quality. You'll have to forgive me for my lack of high quality pictures that rival Spankee and his awesomeness, but desperate times call for low quality pictures. Alas. Here we go.
Box Loader:
Mike Trout (BL-MT) : +4 pts (Bacon, Lettuce, MoreBacon, Tomato sandwich?)
Pack Total: +4
Running Total: +4
Projected Total: +???
Running Total: +4
Projected Total: +???
If you think it is going to get better... it doesn't.
Pack 1:
#51 A.J. Ramos
#220 Matt Duffy
#121 Corey Seager
#31 Brad Ziegler
Numbers Game - Matt Harvey: +2 NG
#5 Mini - Kyle Waldrop
Framed Mini Relic - Felix Hernandez: +8
Pack Total: +10
Running Total: +14
Projected Total: +244 (See what I did there? Put the best possible pack out front to give you the illusion of hope? Yeah...)
Pack 2:
Pack 2:
#327 Raul Mondesi
#33 Ender Inciarte
#170 Max Scherzer
#205 Carlos Santana
#213 Heidi Watney
#190 Jon Gray
Natural Wonders - Dead Sea: +2 NW
#281 Mini - Jose Bautista
Pack Total: +2
Running Total: +16
Projected Total: +196
This pack is dead-er than the Dead Sea... which is ironic.
Pack 3:
#236 Brad Boxberger (I like this guy's name... Boxberger... it's like Hamburger Helper...)
#82 Gerardo Parra (Gerardo... a good strong name)
#66 Miguel Sano : +1 Favorite Team (HOLY COW I'M IN THE GREEN)
#7 John Lamb
#1 Jorge Soler
#254 Bryce Harper
Number Game - Robinson Cano : +2 NG (He SHOULD be a Yankee, dirty sellout...)
#152 Mini Gary Sanchez : -1 Yankee
Pack Total: +2
Running Total: +18
Projected Total: ((+18)/(3))*24+4 = +148 (Yay for showing your work!)
Pack 4:
#169 Adrian Beltre
#234 Glen Perkins : +1 Favorite Team
#278 Madison Bumgarner
#225 Brandon Drury : +4 Favorite Player (Insert white-guy dance)
#83 David Wright : +2 FP List
#298 Jacoby Ellsbury : -1 Yankee
Numbers Game - Nomar Garciaparra : +2 NG
US Mayors Mini - Tomas Regalado : +2 USM Mini
Pack Total: +10 (Uhhh, wat?)
Running Total: +28
Projected Total: +172
I promise this pack is a fluke.
Pack 5:
#184 Mookie Betts
#28 Elvis Andrus
#272 Troy Tulowitzki
#293 Jonathan Papelbon
#89 Dallas Keuchel : +2 FP List
Baseball Legends - Al Kaline : +2 BL
Numbers Game - Ozzie Smith : +2 NG
#252 Mini Cole Hamels : +3 FP List Mini
Pack Total: +9 (Huh?)
Running Total: +37
Projected Total: +181.6
Yeah, I must be losing my mind. I know there are a dozen negative packs in here somewhere...
Pack 6:
#332 Yan Gomes
#159 Brett Gardner : -1 Yankee
#300 Trea Turner
#76 Colin McHugh
#226 Luke Jackson
#244 Gravitational Waves (Groovy)
#88 Jose Fernandez
#236 Mini Brad Hamburger Helper
Pack Total: -1
Running Total: +36
Projected Total: +148
Toldja.
Pack 7:
#335 Shawn Tolleson
#85 Prince Fielder
#148 Kole Calhoun
#59 Billy Hamilton
#230 Jessica Mendoza
#97 Kyle Schwarber : +2 FP List
Baseball Legends - Willy Mays : +2 BL
Ferocious Felines Mini - Siberian Tiger : +2 FFM
Pack Total: +6
Running Total: +42
Projected Total: +148
Pack 8:
#281 Jose Bautista
#14 Kendrys Morales
#116 Jose Reyes
#287 Andre Dawson
#228 Colin Cowherd : -1 Because The Commish Said So (BTCSS)
Baseball Legends - Jim Palmer : +2 BL
Numbers Game - Jon Lester : +2 NG
US Mayors Mini - Greg Stanton : +2 USM Mini
Pack Total: +5
Running Total: +47
Projected Total: +145
Eh. I seem to be hanging in there. I'll tank it here in a moment I'm sure..
Pack 9:
#311 Welington Castillo
#175 Jonathan Schoop
#229 Mitch Moreland
#290 Andrew Faulkner
#119 Gennady Golovkin
#110 Michele Steele
#299 Clayton Kershaw : +2 FP List
#294 A&G Back Mini - Carlos Rodon : +2 A&G Back Mini
Pack Total: +4
Running Total: +51
Projected Total: +140
Apparently the A&G Back Minis are tougher to hit in hobby boxes this year? I read it on Twitter, so it must be true.
Pack 10:
#341 Richie Shaffer
#157 Gerrit Cole
#231 Kaleb Cowart
#93 Mike Piazza
#41 Drew Smyly
#113 Alcides Escobar
#166 Morgan Spurlock
#178 Black Bordered Mini - David Robertson : +3 BB Mini
Pack Total: +3
Running Total: +54
Projected Total: +133.6
Well, at least I got a black bordered mini?
Pack 11:
#45 Laurence Leavy (How is this guy not worth negative points? Seriously.)
#112 Kris Bryant
#237 Dustin Pedroia
#180 Ryne Sandberg
#274 Chris Sale
Numbers Game - Robin Yount : +2 NG
Natural Wonders - Devils Tower : +2 NW
#348 Mini Trevor Plouffe : +3 SP Mini, +1 Favorite Team (+4 Total)
Pack Total: +8
Running Total: +62
Projected Total: +139.27272727272727
I mean, that Trevor Plouffe Mini... Best card in my box? Probably.
Pack 12:
#321 Nick Castellanos
#118 Evan Gattis
#46 Ben Revere
#151 David Ortiz
#2 Ryan 'Gimme Da Roids' Braun
#21 Ben Zobrist
Natural Wonders - Aurora Borealis : +2 NW
#95 A&G Back Mini - Jimmy Nelson : +2 A&G Back Mini
Pack Total: +4
Running Total: +66
Projected Total: +136
Half-way there and we're livin' on a prayer to break a hundred points...
Pack 13:
#221 Brian McCann : -1 Yankee
#283 Michael Wacha
#109 Eduardo Rodriguez
#247 Papal Visit (This should have been my favorite player...)
Numbers Game - Roberto Clemente : +2 NG
#231 Mini Kaleb Cowart
Full Sized Relic A - Corey Kluber : +5 FSRA
Pack Total: +6
Running Total: +72
Projected Total: +136.923 (I don't think I'm calculating this correctly, to be honest... whatever.)
Hit #2 down... trust me, Hit #3 is awful.
Pack 14:
#126 Greg Bird : -1 Yankee
#138 Cord McCoy
#276 Matt Harvey
#140 Caleb Cotham
#268 Frank Thomas
Baseball Legends - Duke Snider : +2 BL
Numbers Game - Andy Pettitte : +2 NG, -1 Yankee (+1 Total)
#120 Mini Kenta Maeda : +3 FP List Mini
Pack Total: +5
Running Total: +77
Projected Total: +129.14 (This is the correct way... ([77-4]/14)*24+4)
Eh. Yankees. What can you do.
Pack 15:
#301 Tyson Ross
#68 Dexter Fowler
#256 Starling Marte
#143 Adrian Gonzalez
#242 DJ LeMahieu
#49 Ketel Marte
#206 Bob Gibson
#45 Mini Laurence Leavy (Serious, eff this guy. I was fine with the Texting Champion from 2014, but this guy just irritates me...)
Pack Total: +0
Running Total: +77
Projected Total: +120.8
Yep. Zero. Nice. No picture = A picture of a bribe. Just sayin'.
Pack 16:
#129 Zack Greinke
#44 Miguel Castro
#146 Evan Longoria
#80 Edwin Encarnacion
#70 Chase Headley : -1 Yankee
Numbers Game - Jose Altuve : +2 NG
Natural Wonders - Mount Everest : +2 NW
#102 Mini Aaron Nola
Pack Totals: +3
Running Total: +80
Projected Total: +118
Pack 17:
#308 Andy Pettitte : -1 Yankees
#295 Jose Altuve
#186 Alex Gordon
#114 Randy Sklar
#122 Andrew Heaney
#35 Jayson Werth(less)
#103 Carlos Martinez
Subways & Streetcars - Metromover : +2 SS Mini
Pack Total: +1
Running Total: +81
Projected Total: +112.7
At least it is positive?
Pack 18:
#318 Pedro Severino
#34 Rick Klein (Political Analyst? Analyze THIS Election, guy...) : -1
#142 Jake Arrieta
#271 A.J. Pollock
#48 J.T. Realmuto
#238 Tyler White
#165 Nelson Cruz
#149 Black Bordered Mini Michael Brantley : +3 BB Mini
Pack Total: +2
Running Total: +83
Projected Total: +110.6667
Getting there... 6 packs, 17 points? Need more than 2 points per pack here folks... and no, my hit is SERIOUSLY not going to help.
Pack 19:
#94 Todd Frazier
#73 James Shields
#156 Jason Heyward
#162 Josh Harrison
#199 Carlton Fisk
#106 Steve Spurrier : -1 BTCSS
Numbers Game - Adam Wainwright : +2 NG
#82 Mini Gerardo Parra
Pack Total: +1
Running Total: +84
Projected Total: +106.32
Heh. Yep. Uphill battle.
Pack 20:
#100 Rob Refsnyder : -1 Yankee
#312 Carlos Beltran : -1 Yankee
#64 Steve Schirrpa : +1 BTCSS
Baseball Legends - Rod Carew : +2 BL, +1 Favorite Team (+3 Total)
#289 Jose Quintana
#90 George Lopez : -1 BTCSS
#67 Melky Cabrera
#116 A&G Back Mini Jose Reyes : +2 A&G Back Mini
Pack Total: +3
Running Total: +87
Projected Total: +104.8
That is a VERY long way to +3...Ugh.
Pack 21:
#23 Addison Russell
#241 Orlando Jones
#270 David Price
#29 Jay Bruce
Numbers Game - Ryan 'Juice Me Up Bro' Braun : +2 NG
#317 Mini Yordano Ventura : +3 SP Mini
Full Sized Relic B - Brian McCann : +5 FSRB, Divide By 2 For Yankee (+2.5 Total)
Pack Total: +7.5
Running Total: +94.5
Projected Total: +108.57
OK, so the SP Mini helped a lot. Notice the hit... did not. Stupid Yankees.
Pack 22:
#177 Mark Teixeira : -1 Yankee
#197 George Springer
#176 Neil Walker
#32 Falcon 9 Rocket : +1 BTCSS
#210 Michael Breed
Natural Wonders - Marble Caves : +2 NW
Numbers Game - George Springer : +2 NG
#183 Mini Andrew McCutchen
Pack Total: +4
Running Total: +98.5
Projected Total: +108.18
OK, I need a half a point. 0.5 is all I need... here we go, two packs...
Pack 23:
#336 Tom 'The Mountain' Murphy (Bonus points if you get the reference!)
#191 Anthony Anderson
#182 Nolan Arenado
#145 Mike Greenberg
#61 Miguel Cabrera
#258 Kenley Jansen
#201 Byung 'Ho Ho Ho, Merry Christmas!' Park : +1 Favorite Team!!!
#14 Mini Kendrys Morales
Pack Total: +1
Running Total: +99.5
Projected Total: +103.6
I should make it! Assuming I find a measly single point!
Pack 24:
#344 Ryan Zimmerman
#75 Mike Moustakas
#202 Missy Franklin
#40 Jordan Zimmermann
#57 Jim Rice
#153 Jung Ho Kang
#243 Jay Oakerson
#217 Mini Julio Tehran
Pack Total: +0
Running Total: +99.5
Final Total: +99.5
... nope. So close, yet so far.
So here's a picture of another bribe?
I'll look into that Game of Thrones picture thing to put me over the edge, but honestly... I don't think I deserve it after that box. I knew there was a reason I was prolonging the pain. I haven't read the books, I haven't watched the show...
Aaaaaand stop @ 2222! (Nice!) Just over an hour and a half.
